you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
