the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
