dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I forget how to act sober
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