I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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