I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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