...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
