remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
