We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
