While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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