i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
