You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
