What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
