the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
