i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
