just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
