K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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