The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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