They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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