Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
