it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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