i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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