I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
