U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
our cab driver is having phone sex.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
