Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
