I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
