I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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