:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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