apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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