the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize