That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
