Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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