Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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