At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
