i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
