My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
