did you get engaged???
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
