If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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