I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize