Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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