Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize