drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
