When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
