And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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