You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
