I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize