dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
