so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
