Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to sanitize my soul.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
