More tranny stories later!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
