she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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