like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
