one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
