This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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