Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
