Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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