Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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