Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
