My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it because I queefed?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize