Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
