well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I faked an abortion last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
