Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
